It Can't be that bad!

I've been a little bit blah all day- and by the time Zane got home- i was in a fully fledged bad mood. I can't find the cable to my brand new portable harddrive. Zane decided to get a USB 3 harddrive, which is all good and well but now i dont have any USB 3 cables. And like 10 USB 2 cables! This is insanely frustrating because prior to this, when i had a USB 2 harddrive, whenever i went to use it- i would find that there were NO usb cables to be found at all! But USB 2 cables are by far easier to find than USB 3 cables, if you hunt around enough there's always a spare USB cable sommmmmmmeeewhere around the house that would substitute just fine.

Noone uses USB 3 here. But Mister technology pants.

ANyway since we are sitting here reconciling our differences we may as well talk about when we first met.

i dont have your usb 3 cable ok stop blaming me..... We have to change colours coz this will get confusing for the people. I will be green. 
no im green
No but you are black see you wrote that stuff up there in black. your yellow im green you are woggy indian. Murky brown and furry. You can be brown.


fine i will be black. Hahaha hi, we are doing this thing that is revolutionary, it's a joint blog! And so far its very awesome as you can see.

Zane is making default face.

But starting at the start... it was the summer of 1969... haha no it was like 2003 okay wait it was 2004- we are arguing about what year it was- i can't remember it was a long time ago!

A long time ago in a land far far away, called Teletech Land - i started work. On the day of my end of training exam, i arrived at work very very early and went to find parking at pennant Hills which was virtually impossible. The parking i found was on a very steep hill - (these steep hills were abundant in Pennant Hills, it was very hilly). ANyway as i went to park my car, an old lady stepped in front of me as i was about to accelerate, and instead of accelerating i took my foot off and the car slid backwards and slammed into the  car behind me.

Flustered i parked my bent back bumper lil white echo in a no standing zone- ran in to tell my trainer i'd just had a car accident and needed to go back down to write a note to the person who's car i just hit that i was sorry and leave my details. I went back downstairs, left the note and coming back up realised i'd lost my swipe card into the building. I quickly followed someone in the entrance and got to the elevator just in time to jump in with a dude in pinstripe pants. He looked at me and i was all fuck my fucking life! And he said these words 'It Can't be THAT bad!'

And i laughed....

Then she does that cutie smile she does and explained what had just happend....I felt like the biggest dork ever and all i could say was maybe it can be that bad.


So after hoping out of the elevator feeling all awkward and stuff that was me i was off to do my Trainee Team Leader role...So I think it was the same day or maybe the next i went down to the training room to meet my new team and there she was. She still had that smile, everyone that knows her knows that smile.


Well anyway she was in my team and i got a do some side by side coaching with her and the rest of the team and I got to know them all really well. Vien then was sick for a few weeks and i thought I had scared her off. She soon returned and things were all good and i thought we were becoming goods friends joking with each other and stuff, it was nice.


Haha, the laughing was good, coz it took me out of that zone of what the heck happened to my morning? Anyway i remember they bought him in to introduce us to our team leader later on, and it was the same dude from the elevator- i wasn't listening properly when they said his name and for a while i thought it was Dwayne and chalked it down to him being Peurto rican.

HAHAHA shhh it made sense at the time. Anyhoo, i remember my first day in rockpool being really apologetic to people on the phone. And Zane (as his name turned out to be) came to help me on this one call. The guys name was Michael. I remember coz we were on the phone for like 3 hours. Michael told me never to apologise, when i kept apologising for breaking his stuff more than i was fixing it. He asked me if it was my first day, and i was like -YES! I'm sorrry!!! Hahaha.... Eventually coz i was taking so long, Zane came to listen in and Michael gave me my first ever customer compliment  even though i didn't end up fixing his problem. I blame windows 98.

Haha anyway that's as much as i remember of those early times. I got bronchitis and lost my voice for a couple of weeks which was unfortunate since it was a call center... haha when i got back things were just dandy and i kept being apologetic to customers and taking 3 hour calls as usual.

When rockpool finished i took up a collection and got our Trainee Team leader a Zippo coz he was always smokering, and got the letter Z engraved on it. It wasn't coz i liked him or anything, he was nice and i liked my rockpool team and it felt like we should acknowledge its ending our splitting up into different teams. I thought Zane was married anyway, coz i heard someone say something to him about his wife making him dinners and I had a boyfriend at the time anyway so yeah if he had hit on me then, like i know he wanted to... i wouldda been like heeeeeeeeelll no! Hahaha

So after rockpool i didn't think much of him at all. Til one day out of the blue- i got an email from a Zane Sayer- as he was known then, asking me when i would come out to hang out with him and Dave- Dave i had interacted with more, coz he was doing flowcharts for me to help with my insane call times, where i would hold old peoples hands through set ups and let them talk about their lives a little.

Anyhoo- so Zane Sayer sends me this email saying we should go hang out, coz he was thinking of returning to New Zealand....

Oh is that how it happend...ok so yes i just hard an interesting breakup with my girlfriend at the time and i just wanted to hang out with people and me and Dave were all good, but we would have just played Counter Strike, so i thought of Vien, see was always smiling and seemed like fun.


So after work Vien and Dave joined me on MSN we chated for a few days after work and had (ok now dont laugh) too hard..Gangsta MSN Parties, i don't really remember what they consisted of apart from one night which it might be were thos nights got there name...me and Dave were copying Snoop dog and over gangsta raps into the chat like were were singing it and we were meaaan as, vien was quite for a while then out of no were she hit us with gangsta rap she had made up while we were being copycats and it blew us away, it was basically bagging us out for copying other peoples stuff and she was more gangsta than us, its was awesome and i sat there thinkings this chick is meaaannnn.


And so by the end of the week and many more not so gangsta msn parties we decided we would go to Star City buffet coz Dave could eat a mountain of food. it sucked for me coz I cannot eat alot. So went, eat and had great conversation and then we ended up in darling harbour siting around talking was late by that time and vien had to go which was all good , but after that night i couldn't wait to go out again.


We both still had things were we sorting out but she was great company and was always straight up with me and that's what i needed, one night i need to just get away and so i asked her what she was upto, we went out she too me to la parouse and then she took a blanket out from the boot, I remember thinking WTF we didn't that blanket come from... anyway after that night it was like it was always meant to me and i don't really remember any different, apart from having a feeling with both knew what had to be done and within a week or possible two we were both single.


LOLs and rolls with the lolsing! hahaha... i'm not gonna argue over little details here kids, but he just made it sound like i got single to be with him. I was on my way to being single for a while at that stage... my then boyfriend had at that time taken a 2 week bucks party trip to the states with his mate and left me contemplating why we were even together... it had been just after my dark days and Teletech was my real push out into the wide world where- its not that i didn't trust people so much- i never trusted myself. I always thought i was a lil on the fake side with all the pretending to be happy while being seriously screwed up when i was alone.

So anyhoots, Zane is very tired and would like to wrap it up and watch something, which we rarely get to do since we started this blog  coz i'm always here typin away for the good of humanity.... so in order to cut to the chase, I had a blanket in the car, because it was winter and those days i liked to hang out in my car a lot. Coz i was a lil bohemian like that and wicked cool. Haha the blanket is the brown one that's still on our bed today.




Zane took that blanket with him that night and gave it back to me a few days later, for him i think it was all over. Haha i had him at Gangsta rap. What can i say, i read a lot of Dr. Seuss.

For me, life was complicated and simple all at once. I took one giant leap out of a 4 and half year relationship and one small step back to being the person i once was. The smiles were real, the people i started talking to, meeting and forcing myself to go out with were interesting, filled with possibilities. I was looking forward to time alone just to be me. Haha... Dave and Zane were these funny guys who hung out and played computer games and sat right next to each other in the same room, staring at screens instead of talking. I was, exploring new paths enjoying work, enjoying people.

At home things were getting more and more tumultuous and the relationship i'd just ended was onesidedly abrupt. I had to explain myself to someone who still didn't know me after four and half years together. Mum and dad were fighting constantly. Work became a sanctuary. Away from negatives of an old me and a life i was ready to leave, and a place to be someone else for a few hours every night. I started staying back later and later at work, mucking around with CRU, haha okay i admit by this stage i was often sitting on Zanes lap or playing with his hair. As good friends do of course.

One night i stayed back probably an hour past my shift. By the time i got home it was 1am or there abouts... what i noticed first was that the lights were on. My stomach turned because ever since i can remember, if the lights were on after 9-9.30 at home, something was wrong.

I came in, went upstairs, found my sister in the bedroom with a barely conscious mum, a rising panic in her face.

'Mums been sick.'

I don't really wanna get into the details of that night, maybe some other time... maybe not- i've rehashed it enough to know that it doesn't make a difference.

When she was pronounced at the hospital later on i waited for my siblings to arrive, waited til dad arrived, then left. I walked from the hospital at 2am just wanting to get to my car.

On the way, i pulled out my phone. Looked at the numbers of some one i shared my life with for 4 and half years just 2 weeks earlier on, and instead called Zane.

I answered the phone to what sounded like a normal vien who asked "what you doing?" i said watching a movie, she then said "I let you go then" i was like arggh that not right when asked whats wrong she said her mother just died.


I told her to come over, she did we hang out with Dave for abit then then just me and Vien, the next day a called work and told them Vien and I want be coming in to work and then we spent that day together and that's it nothing so exciting or wonderful magical movie story, but it fit us and we have been together since through ups, downs, parents dying and goods times.... that's it kids, that's how i meet your mother. and I love her, for everything she is and for everything she will be.


We made probably the greatest things in the world you kids and the bestest, meeeannest, mintest family ever and its all gravy.


See so thats how it happened folks, i was vulnerable and he took advantage of me- and while he glosses over the fact that we got together then made this awesome family, haha it was a little more complex than that.

It was a surreal time for me, a lot was happening. Whenever i needed to get away i'd go to Daves place, where Zane lived at the time. We'd been talking before this about travelling. Zane wanted to show us New Zealand, and was going back in November for his sisters wedding he wanted us to come. I wasn't sure about it, but after mum died- i needed to go somewhere, so we booked it.

2 months and a lifetime in between of events and evolutions, i felt exhausted and fat. To a point where one day i thought- wait a minute, there must be something wrong. Haha two days before we were set to leave for NZ, to allay my fears, i bought some codral and a pregnancy test.

 I did your pregnancy test Tivi, in the toilets at Stocklands Wetherill Park, where we still do our grocery shopping sometimes now... 2 hours before my work shift was scheduled to start. When two pink lines came up clear i double checked the box, sighed and laughed - life had been on a strange and crazy tilt for me leading up to that, and i had developed a strange sense of humour to go with it.

I didn't tell Zane i was pregnant, not til the day before we were due to return to Sydney, he hadn't been back home in years, and i didn't want to ruin it with hey, i know we've been together a whole 2 months but lets have a baby!

I think the best summary of the thought of MEEEE, PREGNANT!!?!?! was the reaction from Cat. Those of you that don't know Cat, we've been friends since year 8 and she knows me as well as anyone possibly could. Cat hyperventilated when she realised i wasn't joking, she had to leave the restaurant we were at and go outside for air - staring at me in utter disbelief from the window outside.

Hahaha - it took everyone a long time to get their heads around the idea of me and a baby. With a guy they'd all only met once or twice! Haha... i think somedays we still sit and wonder what the heck happened to the world and how we could possibly have gotten to a point where i have not one, but THREE babies- the humannnnity!!

As they say though, the rest- is history. Our stories were distinctly separate and one day- i was standing - he was there- two worlds collided, and they will never... tear us apart. Haha that's original bros.

I'm working on a pictorial of all our adventures as far back as the pictures go. For tonight though we'll leave it here- I've said it before, i was never one of the girls that dreamt of white weddings, kids and a little house in the burbs... but the 2 pink lines that day, were never a question to me. This was where i was meant to be, doing something with the person i was always meant to do it with.

I'm not a emo person when it comes to these kinda things, i leave the romance movies to Zane... i know that i learnt just before change came, to trust myself.

And Zane, well he said he didn't know why he trusted me so easily, because i don't know if he mentioned in all his rememberings- but he was always guarded - best way i can describe it is- one day we held hands, and before we took a step- the earth opened up before us- and we looked down into this great big hole of the unknowns. We looked at each other- and smiled. Then still holding hands. We leapt.

And that, is that.