Random things on my mind

Steve Jobs died today, and for my kids- they probably wont even know who that is- he'll be that vague scientist like dude - like Eddison and uhhh you know, those vague scientist guys. The ones that invent things that you and i take for granted... we live history, and in the presence of it- our lives go on.

There is news about famines and my sisters converse about fashion, and this is good, because if we all just focus on the negatives around us, we'd collapse and be soggy with heaviness, overwhelmed by fears.

I stopped blogging to try and get a better grasp of where i'm at, i felt sometimes i watched my children more than i interact with them- that i take the photograph of a memory that might not be entirely as it seems. I didn't DO those things WITH them, i watched as they did it. I'm always that eye behind the camera.

So instead of trying to sell you the memory as a package of pretty photographs of beautiful kids, of snapshots of moments, i want to do something that really shows it for what it is.

There is wonder in all of it, even the shitty times between those smiles you see- we learn and unlearn and become individual parts of this insane whole.

I'm having this conversation with dave while i'm writing this blog, which is really distracting, coz i completely lose my train of thought!!

This last week, i've been holiday sitting at the Morris house, and my energy levels were low, so it wasnt particularly eventful. The photographs and memories of Family day and our adventures in Darling Harbour are sitting in my folders, waiting for the special touches that awesome weekends deserve.

We built a castle today. Well i did most of it coz the kids are quitters! I'll put up photos tomorrow because i can't find the cable and i am still discussing worldly issues with Dave and getting distracted.


On a funnier note, Sonny sent me this to motivate me. It was really long and kinda boring up until the last couple of minutes where he starts talking about sleep.








Okay i get it, i whine about being tired too much. And you're right- it is about asking how bad do you want it?

I do want it. I want something. I want life to be filled with happiness and good, wholesome, loveliness.

Right now, i'm not willing to do what it takes- i'll admit that here n now. Today, this week- maybe this month, i'm not in it to win it.... But that's not to say i've given up - lets just say i'm working on it. Just let me sit for a bit, cross legged and bare foot. Staring at the sky.

Call it stalling, i call it - doin it my way, my time. My terms.

We built a castle today, it looks like this: