4 years ago today, at about 6 am- i was up and feeling a slight sense of dread as the periodic pains that woke me, became more regular and stronger.
At about 6.30 i woke your dad and your Aunty Vinnie who was sleeping over on labour watch, and told them i was going to have a shower and we'd better start getting ready to go to the hospital.
I was gearing up for a long intense day- your sister tortured me for 32 hours before she came out, and although everyone tells me that the second comes easier, i was having flashbacks of the insane hours of crazy pain no one told me about before the first experience.
Hehe, to my surprise by 8.30 i couldn't move at each contraction. When Uncle mike came to pick us up because both your dad and AUnty were on their Learners license at the time (lol), he walked in and said 'Hi' and i was hanging onto the kicthen table unable to respond because the pain was suddenly magnified.
By the time we got to the hospital, the walk to delivery suite was long due to the onset of regular and familiar torture. Haha... all i knew then was that, this wouldn't stop til i got you out of me, and i was determined this time to get the whole thing done with a lot faster. To my relief, upon checking the midwife smiled and announce '8cms, anytime now! We'll just wait for your water to break.'
At 12.05pm, on the afternoon of January the 30th 2008, after they broke my water- haha you came into the world.
You looked terrified when you were placed on my chest. Tiny and scared - your eyebrows narrowed in this look of worry thats become one of your trademark expressions. i remember looking down at you and up at your dad and laughing 'He looks so scared!' and Aunty Vinnie said ngawww yeah he does!!
You had this gigantic nose! Haha people were polite about it, but your nose was bigggg little dude! Haha still you were cute, and even more so you were Quiet! and you slept! the complete opposite of the terror of Tivianh, i remember being bored at the hospital because you fed, slept, fed slept...
ahhh my Che bo- how you've grown- you came home from the hospital an angel from the very beginning. Two weeks into being home - you were sleeping through the night most nights, far from the screeching banshee that was your sister- you entertained yourself, slept extraordinarily well and required very little from me.
You were always the easy one, the quiet one, the shy one, thoughtful and gentle- a bore to the tornado that was Tivianh, she barely registered you in the first few months- when you learned to walk you followed her, when you learned to talk, you copied her.
You always practiced things before showing people- i'd hear you practice words quietly on your own- and one day you would say them and look to me uncertainly- looking for the assurance that you had said it right- in the right context. I mused often at your sense of awareness, the way you always watched, then waited til no one was looking before attempting whatever it was you were interested in... working at it til you mastered it.
As a baby you were quiet and goodnatured, fair skinned, almost blonde, eyes that shifted from brown to hazel with the light. When you started interacting with the world, you would colour code, your blocks, your balls, your meals. You always ate the green stuff first, then the carrots and then the corn. You loved your vegetables then, and to this day, they're the first thing to dissapear from your plate.
You never fussed about food. Unless you were sick. You loved fruits, and crackers and weetbix.
As a toddler you had an obsession with cheerios and would leave a trail wherever you went.
You grew into that nose, and the serious, thoughtful worried expression- it followed you.
You took to big brotherhood, like a natural- always looking out for your siblings. Both the younger and the elder.
At one you loved food:
At two you loved Cars
At 3, it was Buzz Lightyear, all the way to infinity and beyond-
At four, you tell me you will be a Beyblade Champion when you grow up. You love ninjas and swords and lego and pulling faces for my camera.
You tell me you will never get married, because you 'love me so much' and if you get married it would mean, you'd have to have babies and leave me.
You've grown increasingly cheeky, and boy you talk a lot these days just ask your Aunty Phuong! You're still hypersensitive, but its because you have this strong sense of people. When you first learnt to speak, you liked to tell me how i was feeling by my expressions- 'You Happy mum!' You angry mum?'
Hehe you always give perfectly timed hugs. You count my kisses. You like to give me three. One on each cheek and one on my forehead. You tell me you will eat and sleep and grow big and be a strong man, so that you can 'Wash dishes and help take the garbage out and put things in the trolley'.
You flex your 'muscles' on command, and everyone laughs because when you flex, we can see your bony arms and ribcage. No matter how much you eat, you still stay skinny as a stringbean.
But you sure love to eat.
I love that at the age of 3 when i say to you, 'You sir, are the apple of my eye- the laser on my Buzz..' you responded with, 'You mum are the pink white and brown icecream in my sandwhich- the water in my bath!'
Hehe... i love that you apologise to me when i have to wipe your butt - and explain that you tried to call dad, but he was ignoring you... and you know that when dad is home, dad should wipe your butt because i shouldn't have to. Because you love me the most.
We made your cake, you can't wait to show it to your cousins - specially Ethyn, he's your idol.
You tell me almost everyday that i am awesome, and that you love me, and i know by instinct- you will always feel this way- because you're mummys boy... haha no, because - you are sweet, and kind and even when you are cheeky now, you are thoughtful and perceptive.
I can't believe you're four.
Thank you for the moments you've given me, for all the timely reminders that things are great, and i am doing alright at this mothering thing. You give the best 'squished bugs' hugs, say the cutest, nicest things and you constantly surprise me with your memory, your sense of awareness, your ability to empathise.
Nanna used to whisper to me that you were her favourite. She said you reminded her of Daddy when he was little. hehe... Aunty Vinnie who saw you from the first breath you took, she says all the time that you are ridiculously goodlooking.
We laugh because there was a time when you were shy, quiet and introverted. Somewhere along the way, you found your voice, your incredible memory and your vocabulary is put to good use with endless stories now. Its a pleasure to have watched you grow.
So... i dont have all the many hours n hours it would take to list all the wonderful things unique to you... but you know, i love you to infinity and beyond. Happy birthday my Beyblade Champion, Lightning Ninja!
I know you love him too- because you always call him 'My dad.' - 'Is that my cake, my dad?'
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