Haha - I like to quote children's books, and children's cartoons, because this is the middle ground where imagination meets possibility.
Chris told me to blog earlier today, whilst the children snoozed and the housework was done, and i tolds her i says - i could not- because... i can't write smack bang in the middle of a day....
Unless i'm in one of those moods where i narrate in my head, and nay today i am not.
i'm doing this thing again where i'm listening to music while blogging and getting really distracted by the words- tonight its Mister Mraz's old albums, Ben folds me a fabulous five with classics like 'Bitches ain't shit', John Mayer, Blondie and under the influence of Cat i tried a little Chris Cornell, but that's more of Zane's thing when he's not doin his gangsta rap hippiddy hopiddy buzz. Mercyme, and just for fun The carpenters.
I can't think while my barefeet tap to a merry tune i don't even know from the Bridesmaids soundtrack... a movie we finally got to watch the other night, haha - a reminder of friends and humour and times - i guess i only imagine we would have had, if our lives had not diverged in those yellow woods upon some morning those many years ago.
I've skipped a weekend with you lovelies, well for most of you who actually do read- you probably saw me anyway haha in glorious 4D! Of note on Saturday- i witnessed the a milestone in the life of a lovely young lady named Kyra, who looked like this - not many moons ago..
And i it makes me wonder, how strange it must be for OUR parents to see us, in our 30's. Their kids - who were once so tiny, and how we marvel at the speed of years now that we have these little lives by which to measure them- like we're the first to know of such things.
Congrats Marii, on growing such a beautiful little thing, she's so quiet and graceful- dainty and headstrong all at once, something like her mother who amazes me all the time with the ease in which she carries herself through the insanities of motherhood. My symbolic hat off to you fair lady. You inspire and intimidate me with your supermothering abilities. Hehehe... And i'm glad to have your guidance and steady calmness in the face of often chaos that reigns here. And it makes me laugh to think of how they will grow up, your kids and mine, in two entirely different environments and be (i hope) the best of friends.
I'm literally falling asleep between sentences here, because i've left it all too late again so sorry if it makes no sense, i should really stop apologising for i know you love me as i am. Thank you for that. Haha...
I'm thankful these days also for the universe/the force/the powers that be... that have been paying attention to my small wants and flimsy needs. Thank you for the weekend away, that i very much am looking forward to, to Cat for locking it in, to Dave who comes along for the ride always without question or complaint.
Thank you for the smiles on that default face of Zanes, for commitments to big adventures despite the small fears. Thank you for the blue skies. The kids that have been behaving like they sense the changes to come and are excited by the new and wonderful things they will see and experience- who learn that co-operation gets us there faster, and happily oblige.
I've been seeing ideas in my head, that i can't write without first drawing. There are 3 days til my 31st birthday, (2 by the time i post this) the official step into the 30's right off the edge and in amongst the marrow of it. Hehe, i love getting older. I love that i see grey hairs more frequently now, and muse on the day when it will be visible streaks and i will know that i have lived long and seen much and i will be happy in the knowledge i have done stuff and been merry and known all these wonderfully terrific folks... some of the best amongst those the world has to offer.
I can't wait to be old, because i've always loved old people, Old people have earnt the right to be crazy, they did their time and struggled through uncertainties and angst and on the other side of it edge towards peace, and in their last years are entitled to do whatever it is they so want. I can't wait to be old and insane and no one will stop me from doing what i choose when i choose to, and it would be funny and not criminal at all to be a rebel at 80, i can't wait to mess with my grandkids heads, and see my kids roll their eyes.
Demented old mum, there she goes again. If i make it there, it is going to be awesome. And i will say awesome all the time in my 60's and 70's and most of all in my 80's - it will still be cool and i will still be licking people if the occasion so calls for it
Haha, i can't write tonight i don't know why- probably because i picture myself in the sunshine this weekend, watching Zane and Dave play with the kids, while i sit back chat to Cat and take inventory of all the ideas swimming in my head these days.
Big things are coming, and i need to be prepared.
For now i'm internalising it all, working out the kinks in my systems.
IT's a boring post i know- but hey - look Today, we painted made a rainbow- inspired by Grug 'a small, striped haystack like creature with a face, who is fascinated by the world around him and solves everyday problems creatively and without fuss.' (wikipedia)
Today we learnt that if you chase a rainbow and fail to touch it - Make one, and even if its messy, and your sky is made of bricks, stand beneath your rainbow.... And smile your best smile... and know all is good with the world.
I hope you grow up believing you can chase the light of something new and enjoy the entire process, but when or if, it slips away - nothing stops you from making your own colours, splashing in the mess of ordinary pleasures and creating your own marvels.
And you can tell your kids their crazy grandmother, she pulled those rainbows from the sky and planted them on the dark and dusty deck of that old apartment with the leaking roof and broken fridges - and that's what your childhood is made of - love and light refracted, there in the middle ground- where impossible met imagination, and moustaches were all the rage
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