I get my energy from my Inner G haha...

Lol love that line (Lupe Fiasco i'm beamin) i love the clip too. Coz i like cardboard props! I know.. random.

Highlights of today:

Che says funny things- because he remembers the details and sees the correlations. Today when we were talking about policemen, because Stella said - policemen would come to get her and lock her up, and i said policemen only catch bad guys- are you a bad guy?
STella said no, and i said 'Well then a policeman will be your friend, their job is to protect you from people who hurt or harm other people or other peoples things. They catch people who hurt other people and put them in jail.'

Che smiled a small smile and said 'Jacie hurts me all the time, and takes my things.'

Hehehe... awww if only it were that black n white sunshine.

Before that Che was annoyed with Stella for not sharing the crayons so he said ' My mum is ugly!' and stella said 'What? did you say your mum is ugly?' and Che said ' NO i mean YOUR mum is ugly!' lol  gawsh they're startin young with the yo Mumma insults these days.

Later on at dinner Che and Tivi were mucking around and Che yelled Breeee treat!! and i said where did you learn that? Che said it was when they were playing with Ethyn and if Ethyn said Bretreat they would all run back.... lol  Tivi rolled her eyes and said it's not BRE treat, Che-  it's FREE TREATS! Hahaha...

I love the kids conversations, i love how they make sense of things. I love that once upon a time life was that simple.

Now life is... complicated.

I've been quiet coz i've been questioning myself....  And i haven't been sleeping very well - it seems my pre- children insomnia is back stealing away my nights. It makes me tired now though unlike back before kids, i have things to get up to that can't be half done, the cocktail of sleepless nights, weekend events and Children who want to play n do things... leaves me feeling hungover. Smashed. Trashed. Squandered. But it's okay- haha its just one of the downtimes i have now n then- when my systems on overload and my wires are crossed.

December is already upon us and its freaky how fast the end of the year flies by.

Right now i have some unresolved issues and i probably should ponder upon them more before sharing coz its hard to write positive when you have mixed and many feelings about things.

I need will write a to do list to tick off.

I need to will push myself further.

I need to will snap outta this and skip into brighter lighter days.

Zane, i'm finding it hard to be a parent and a partner. Still finding the balances so just lets work it out together... like for reals n for good this time. I know i'm hypercritical sometimes okay too much with you i dunno why. I am aware of this and trying to work on altering my reactions. I'm sorry, i do want you to do the things you enjoy doing. .. honestly! We'll work it out.

Tivs Favourite part was making Christmas things at school, Che's was playing with his superman, batman and his mum. Jacie said his favourite was walking with Tivi and Che. To the shops. (didn't happen) haha...

I am most thankful for smiles and hugs, and cheeky kids and for introspection and the time to sort out quiet confusions. For self awareness and i guess learning self - forgiveness. Getting up to give it another go...

Anyway goodbye November - and onto December. I like new beginnings so here's to another reason to start over!! Haha... come on it's me n you 12th Month. BRING IT what what.

I made up a December corkboard to keep track of all the kids things i'm sure i've missed something(s) in there but that's all i can remember for now:

Hehe okay i need to sleep its late again so to bed good people! FREE TREATS!!!