Things to think about

study
career
kids
relationship
balance
fun.

Things not to think about

i'm not listing because i'm not even thinking about them. See yeah i know- awesome right.

So it's December and its time to wrap up the year with the hurricane that is the last month... this year being the first of the school years- there's the added knee hi events to attend. Between playgroups and childcares and school muftiday/excursions and celebrations.. life is - blurry.

I've been bummed out- bothered by little things- not sure if i'm as true to myself as i say i am. And if you are what you say you are, a superstar... then have no fear. Haha i am impulsive. And sometimes things come outta my mouth uncensored and unedited and it's messy- then afterwards i question my actions and reactions and i wonder if i'm a person i like at all or if sometimes i'm just that silly whiner who is rash and abrasive.

I didn't mention yesterday though, that i got a response to something i've been kinda down about- and the long awaited reply was gentle and sweet and centered with niceness, and i am thankful for second chances, and for friends who know friendships are worth it. Thanks Jany, and i hope you had an awesome birthday- here's to new years and new beginnings.

Hehe, i'm happy for this today i finally got blu tac to stick up my world map- coz i wanna see all the places we're gonna travel to- under the world map is my makeshift calendar for December- its filling up fast - some days are jam packed full of funness haha yes funness.

But yeah i'm still tired and aggitated by unresolved issues - and finding it hard to snap outta the stupor of tired, unmotivated and annoyed.

The kids- they just shake off my random moods- we make plans together and run outta time. But they giggle everyday and play silly buggers and i yell at them to stop and eat but i secretly love the sound of their laughter and envy their ability to make fun outta any situation.

I need to learn to sustain these energy levels coz the ups and downs are confusing haha...

Okay i'm just gonna do a random vomit of thoughts now coz i wanna read -

To Yummii if you happen to read this, you're like a one person marching band of cool things and awesome ideas. I stalk your profile whenever i'm a bit blah- which lately has been often... haha i told you that's why i was adding you as a friend on facebook- to steal happy vibes!!

Haha... but thank you for all the inspiration, for reals- like everyone keeps telling you, you're amazing. It's true... and that shimmer in you lately- is really starting to grow or rather glow... maybe i don't know what i'm talking about lol- but i can feel the excitement building up around you - big things are brewing over there- it's nice to be able to have a ticket up in the nosebleed seats. Johns a lucky man, i'd totally go lesbo for you, just so you know... haha in case you're ever interested ;) hahaha! Come on kids- i'm just kidding around *shakes head at Yummi and mouths I'm not, i'm totally serious baby *winks n licks** haha...


To Jenny Lam- i'm so sorry i didn't come get any mangoes! Things kept coming up then i was all like- but now its too late... and then i got into my social retardation mode where i was like well now i feel awkward coz its been so long and she thinks i'm not a man of my word already so i'll just hide in shame. I'm so ashamed. Hahaha - seriously though, i feel really bad- i dont know if you have any mangoes left but i'll come get some on the weekend if you do! Hahaha! I promise this time. I'm sorry!! And thank you so much for the Autism information and how much thought and effort you put into your responses.

Regardless of any other thoughts about Landmark, i gotta say you're a lovely group of people (the handful i do know(kinda) haha)- with a great energy and the support and encouragement you give to each other with the genuine wish for everyone to be the best people they can be... it's amazingly cool to behold. The change that you will make in the community and the world as a result will be something that i look forward to seeing.... still until you have a suicide pact for me to sign in blood, and at least photographic evidence of a spaceship locked away in the Pyrmont compound... I refuse to  join. BTW what have you dudes done with Cat? Haha

To Dave, thanks for dinner tonight, and for listening to my insanity most nights in the wee hours- sorry for putting you in a strange and awkward position hahaha, and don't worry - i wasn't 'angry' just indignant for the most part- and i rarely hold onto such things. haha thanks for coming out an hanging with us- and we are like that usually i'm really bad at keeping peace in front of visitors so haha just know that underneath it all- we do have a great relationship. The little things are surely that- just little things and there's more to life than little things. RIGHT zane? Haha

To Leet and Chris (for the chats n the laughs and the lil pick me ups) and to all the girls- i'm really looking forward to lunch with ya'll finallllllllllly!! Christmas lunch!! It'll be an awesome way to wrap up whats been for the most part- a really good year.

Leet, you are incredible in your insatiable optimism and unwavering resilience... i dunno how you do it- seriously you always say i'm busy but nothing like you- haha i just whinge about it and make it sound harder than it really is to get sympathy hahaha  but hats off too ya, and Holly- i'm so glad Leet ended up with someone who supports her so well. She never complains about anything and always raves about you. Hope Lana gets completely better soon- you guys deserve a break! SHold pack up your stuff n come to Vietnam with us!!


Haha Vietnam vietnam.. i dunno how i feel it creeps nearer and i think wow i should really get organised- then i get distracted by a zillion other things- but it is exciting right. It'll be amazing - i know it will.

Oh and i posted up pics but i told Kim i'd mention Nardy in the blog- hahaha jokingly i know- but i did mean to write about the whole party now- its just too old - haha though at Stellas party Nardy used such ingenuity to get the helium balloons down without popping them- he gathered a crowd of dubious  nay sayers- and he proved them wrong by retrieving a whole bunch of balloons haha... amazing.

Hehe it was entertaining, useful and suspenseful at the same time. Well done dude! Haha sorry- alls you get is a 2 second stint in my budget blog hahaha yeah i bet you feel special now! Maybe Kim will dedicate a blog to you! tehehe.

ANyway - sleep time. Playgroup partying it up tomorrow!!

But finally- To husband dude... you n me- OUTSIDE. i'm taking you DOWN! haha.... no seriously i'm over the same old same old. Lets sit down some time and work out a better way of doing things... i'm picking fights coz i'm frustrated you know how it is- so instead of retreating and putting that default face on- sit and hash it out with me.. i am determined to have a perfectly happy life and have room to create and be inspired and raise wonderful, confident and brilliant lil children TOGETHER. Now cooperate or die! Haha...

Falling asleep... must close eyes. Night ya'll!!

The force be with you.