Nope, not any more!
Can we go out then?
Hmmm... Maybe... where do you want to go?
Out to dinner!
Haha, what do you wanna eat?
Big door restaurant!
Again?
(it's the fanciest place you know)
And the fancy ice cream place you said you'd take me to.
I find you amusing.
I find it amusing that i don't go out to restaurants much and i'm not even sure at the end of our meal where to pay for the food because i am so UNfancy like that.
But you, You Love restaurants.
I raise my eyebrows at the fact that you have chosen my shoes for me. Heels i haven't worn since the days before i was pregnant with you. Over 7 years ago. I tell you i will not wear heels in this rain.
You are dismayed because you've outgrown all your pretty shoes.
We wear thongs because our Gumboots do not go with our outfits, although i'm sure my red boots go with any outfit, you say your pirate ones are ugly, and your black boots are too small.
You ask me for lipstick and red cheeks. You clip a flower in your hair.
I tell your dad i feel sorry for your future husband already.
You overhear me and tell me that you'll never get married.
I feel sorry for all the boys who will adore you anyway.
We go up the road and you ask me why we didn't just walk to the Big door restaurant which is just downstairs.
I tell you we can try something new.
Joel drops us off and i'm not sure where i'm taking you- but it occurs to me there is a sushi place we've never been to.
Awesome(ly) we discover that Fat Panda has a sushi train. You've always wanted to go to Sushi Train and missed out the last time i took your brothers with Aunty Vinnie and Phuong.
You are pleased with the restaurant, i know next time you will beg me to come here again.
When Aunty Jenny comes in unexpectedly with her family and Eden wants to sit next to you and talk to you - you ignore her completely in the way that you do when you are shy around new people. You've become a little odd like that. It makes me wish that i had encouraged your insane confidence as a toddler and not reined you in when you ventured too far - i briefly question my ability as a parent for the 50 thousandth time in 7 years.
And you lean over with a smile and ask me for spring rolls.
I think you eat more than i do. I eat the things you don't want because you're trying all these different plates.
Half way through a spring roll you dust your hands off and say
Can we get icecream now?
The ice cream place next door has chandeliers and gold trimming. You like it, it's fancy.
And in this fancy place your hot chocolate comes out with a leaf patterened in the froth and you sit like a little lady and sip the chocolate off the spoon - and then....
You throw spoonfuls of ice cream into your hot Chocolate and giggle. It's like marshmallows you announce.
You tell me to pull your finger. You burp and laugh.
Let's go home.
Before we do, We run back to Fat Panda and steal a business card. You want to stick it in your diary - did you get a card from the flowery ice cream place mum? Yes, it's in my bag.
You skip away.
We start walking home but the rain clouds are still angry and grey. I ask you if we should call dad to come get us. Yes.
I call dad, and you say you've eaten so much your stomach hurts.
I tell you we will walk it off and dad will pick us up from where ever we have walked to.
You walk for a bit and ask me to kill you.
Kill you?
Yes, so my stomach won't hurt any more and you giggle again.
Haha... we hold hands and i ask you if you're happy.
Yes!
One day... one day i will remember this moment-
One day the memory will cross my mind so clearly i will hear the sounds of the cars passing by, and it will make me a little bit lonely for the times that have long since gone... when the rain made puddles on the paths around us, your hand in mine, arm swing exaggerated with each bouncing step, the wind blowing your hair wildly - the way you have of looking so naturally beautiful and completely unaware, a flash of mischief in that smile and that crazy laugh of yours.
I will see you just like this in my mind, and marvel at the person you've become, i will hear myself asking you once more; 'Are you happy baby girl?'- 'Cept you won't be a baby any more.. and i... i will ache softly for that day, when it was just you and i- finding our way back home, full of sushi and ice cream, free and lovely - and the answer was, without question or hesitation-
Yes!
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