All the small things

The things that made me happy today

This girl. 

The lemon Meringue pie she's holding which was an unexpected delivery from the awesome Lytha. 

Finding a cheap chess set.

I don't know how to play Chess.

Tiv and i are going to learn together.

This...

It's a small circuit from the inside of one of those toys that you throw and it lights up.

Jacie broke the toy, then he brought this into me.

Then he proceeded to point out all the parts: the dried up glue, the lights, the batteries, and the little spring that if you pressed it down to the metal made the lights flash.

He didn't ask me anything. He showed me how it worked.

A new book arrived, and i know i have a stack i've yet to read, but she's lovely. The internet. Familiar strangers, and all the delicious words and thoughts.
http://momastery.com/blog/

She gave this to me the other day, but i just found it going through my pile of papers, piles that include car rego and parking fines.

Awesome.

Che's writing.

Gosh... he's come so far in such a short amount of time.

Under the writing his teacher wrote. 'Amazing!'

She says he is the only one in the class who even tried to make sentences.

Amazing indeed.

My husband is happy he got something working, that he's been fiddling with for a bazzillion years.

I am happy for him.


Then this:

Apprehensive. A little excited.

Challenged.

Zane smiled when i told him the name of the program.

You always wanted to be a Hippy!

Hehe.. yes i have.

Somehow... life works out.

I just gotta keep believing it right?

there was this: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/steve-wiens/let-me-be-the-one-who-says-it-out-loud_b_3209305.html

And Zane who actually read it, who recognised us in it, and truth in it.


All the messages tell me to be kind, be gentle, be mindful. Part of me feels guilty for not being able to be these things for anyone right now. But it all starts on the inside right.

So each day... i learn a little more about the need to forgive myself.

For all the things i haven't done, for all the things i should do, for the person i can't yet be.

Listen

They tell me of their days, and i hear them laugh as they play together. They come out to me, grab my hands, tug at my clothes, climb on my lap... they tell me of their love for me.

And i have to teach myself how to hear it.

One day at a time.