Breakfast is miserable for Tivi, she just takes sooooooooooooo long and because we have a timetable its really hard to just let her take her time and just be cool with that.. so after the 40th EAAAAAAAAAT Tivi, i tend to lose it and threaten her with everything, from taking away her toys, her favourite Aunties, starving her to leaving her in a forest and checking that she had no bread to leave a crumb trail... and of course there's i'll smack you all the way to Africa where the kids never complain about eating!
Haha... considering i hate breakfast as a meal too, its way hypocritical and very much do as i say not as i do... and i know this- but i blame society and it pressures on me as a parent to make sure my kids have not only 3 meals, but snacks and not just ANY snacks, nutritious snacks too and daily intakes of calcium and fibre and vitamins and Minerals and liquids but not with too much sugar... and don't forget their hats, and sunscreen and a jumper in case the weather turns.
Like wtf dudes, i can't do this shit! haha
SO anyway i sit down with her and she's all--- umm whats going on now, whys mum being nice to me- all big eyed and suspicious like this:
And i tell her diplomatically that i am indeed trying my hardest not to start our mornings off Cranky and we have to work together right? and she still won't smile for me... and i apologise like i did when she got home from school, for losing it over breakfast the previous morning. And slowly she's getting there.
We finish breakfast while talking about just things... and i'm happy that we didn't yell and it looks promising for the future of breakfasting.... and then she goes to get dressed, and she can't find her shoes! or her Shoe.
Her shoes, that everyday i ask her to put away, and that yesterday night before this morn, i had asked her to put into her basket of shoes.
'But there's only one mum...'
What do you meaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan there's only one????
I looked and i can't find the other one.
Where did u put it.
I put it in there!
So whys it not in there?
Gaaaaaaaaaahhh... then we were late again. And Van came up to pick her up and i was in the middle of a rant about putting things away and finding them. And there goes my pleasant morning.
WTF dudes?! why?? Haha...
Haha, anyway while i'm blogging again, i'm talking to Dave, about the difficulties of being a parrot. Hahaha... or rather a Parent. Whichever you prefer to be... and we talked of Tivi before he knew the subject of my post tonight. He brings up points, i already see but hate seeing so i ignore them and keep trying as best i can to continue with the job i never thought i could do.
*sigh* tired and i need to get up for playgroup so haha sorry i have to leave you here. Blame Dave he is distracting me by pointing out my failures as a mother.
Haha i will come back to Tivianh. She's a challenge to me. A puzzle and i don't even know where to start sometimes.... but i will make a promise here and now to anyone who cares to hold me to it...
I know i speak often of how hard it was to birth her, to know how to care for her in those early months... how she's challenging now, and frustrating and unlike me- and rarely do i tell you about the times when she is helpful and full of silliness- the sweet, innocent and wonderful kind, how she does things sometimes without being asked, she notices when other kids are sad or lost and makes her way to them to help, or tells me so that i can help... and she draws me awesome pictures and jumps on me at random times and hugs me and tells me she loves me.
I'm sure you know beneath the complaints i have, she has always been a marvel to me. I'm amazed that she is mine, and i'm terrified that i will break her. The most precious thing in the world, wrapped in such a pretty package. She's been a test to me, for a long time now... lately i feel like there are parts i've failed miserably, i catch myself in the middle of harsh sentences and change my course so abruptly she probably thinks i'm bipolar. OH MY GOD TIVIANH PLEAAAAAAAAAAAASEEEEEEEEEEEEE DON.... gahhh i love you! Hahahahaha wtf dudes. I dunno what i'm doing!
But like anything else in this life, there ain't nothin for it, but to dust off and get up - try again tomorrow. Hehe i'm never gonna be a perfect mother, but i can try n be a good learner. I just have to let her/them teach me. Coz one thing i know, is that i know very little.
:) sorry trying to iron out the thoughts but they're crumpled beyond salvation.
So i'll see you on the flipside.
That's what she looked like this morning. :) and this is what they looked like:
No comments:
Post a Comment