i tried to palm off this blog

Again.

Hahaha but okay look, i've been sitting here, staring at this blank page for ages- talking to Leet about Menus, and insanely expensive cuts of prime meat. Haha and to Dave about reunions and diseases... and all the while in the background i can see this tab.

I can't think because for some reason i am incredibly tired. So tired, i did a pregnancy test, JUST to be sure. For those of you out there who get that perverted joy at my unfortunate run of parasite contraction... haha I AM NOT PREGNANT.

Haha this usually means that someone else around me is, and since i've ruled out Leet and Marii... haha BECKI?? Guesss what me bro!

Haha yes i do like to run around accusing people of pregnancies because dude, better them than me!!

Anyway since i can't be deep and meaningful i'll bore you all to distraction with banal details of our day haha and by banal i mean incredibly awesome and exciting...

Today we went and got Visa photos taken they look like this:

Hehehe Tivi looks the funniest.

We also got prescriptions for our Travel vaccines- lol we went to a random Medical Center and the Doctor was so unsure of himself that we decided we need to get a second opinion tomorrow...

I've pushed the thought of Vietnam off into the distance because a part of me thinks only of the aspects of it i won't be able to control. Since kids, control has been a huge issue for me. Haha i used to be relaxed and whatever happens, happens and somewhere along the way... i became... a mum. Now everything has to be done a certain way, at a certain time, in a certain order.

ANd it seriously takes a lot of restraint and slow breathing and a sort of numbness for me to let it go. Haha i seriously do that, i distance myself from it to the point of almost not being there at all... and this is the mechanism by which i survive the insane urge to micro manage every aspect of our lives.

I can't micro manage Vietnam because i haven't enough information and there are too many unknowns and variables. This freaks me out more than i will admit, and so Vietnam has become this blurry distant blob in the future of my days.

Haha i need to snap out of it and become excited.  Gah haha... i will okay, look i'm gonna start project Gratituding the beejesus outta Vietnam, because it IS an awesome trip, our first real family holiday, my first time back to the country from whence i came. The motherland. The fatherland. The grandparents land. Haha... i'm sorry husband that i've been so absent in the planning of the trip. I have a few roadblocks in my mind.

Okay folks, lets say we hold Vien to breaking mental barriers this week- Doing things i don't (think i)  want to do. Like this awful blog tonight. It's my breaking through the stupid- i'm too tired to write block. Hahaha banging my skull against it til hopefully it shatters, or i die of hurt head and internal bleeding.

I need to stop irrational fears of certain things and go towards it at a different angle.

Okay it probably makes more sense to me right now than it does to you on screen haha but i'll let you know what it means as i start to do these things.

Today, Jacie cried and did a little scared dance because i growled at him hahaha like a bear growl. My boys are such pansies.  It was one of the highlights of my day. Too funny.

Because i missed yesterday, my favourite part of Friday was watching the kids get up in front of the class to sing at Playgroup. I have videos put em up later.

Tivi got to sleep in our bed last night, and she loved it even though it was squishy, tonight she's sleeping over at Dads house, with her Aunty Vy. I loved seeing her smile in the morning when she woke up next to me.

Che, since he was really young and first learnt emotions and facial representations of emotions... would say matter of factly whenever you smiled 'You are happy!' hehe he would also become very upset if you looked at him angrily and would cry and say 'You are angry at me.'

He's always been the sensitive one. Today Che said to Tivianh, because she had just woken up and was grouchy 'You are always angry Tiv.'

ANd to prove him right, she glared at him and stormed off. Haha

Zane who was drying him at the time, since they'd just gotten out of the bath received the same: ' You are always angry too dad.'

Haha from outside of the bathroom i laughed and said 'You are very observant Che. What about me, am i always angry?'

He laughed a small laugh and said ' No mumma, you are just angry at Dad.'

Hahaha and it's true, he is observant. I like to pick on people my own size (or a little bit taller)

Anyway, i love that about Che, his random statements about life and the world.

This was Friday in pictures

                                

  

 

                                                   

Saturday was visa photos, prescriptions and Saturday night dinner at Dads. Hehe Che's undies showing at liverpool was fun, and Uncle Mike n i had a play with the new cameras functions. 

 

Seriously i have nothing deep or meaningful to say. But this looks long enough due to all the photos. Haha tomorrow there's lots to look forward to. I'm thankful as always for family and saturday nights, for the kids and their funniness. For friends, like Lytha who are hilarious and thoughtful just being them.

I'm so looking forward to your gourmet meals tomorrow, well i mean, soon- later. Haha... i need to go to sleep because i need to be of service to people tomorrow. Apologies for this poor effort... but its okay look i'll start my Countdown to Vietnam soon. And you can all give me advice and tell me whats doable and whats like wtf Vien?!?!

Hehe here's to awesome times ahead. 

CHeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeRRrrsss and goodnight!!