Everyone has those teachers they remember, the ones that said something, did something- showed something, at the exact moment you needed it, and stay with you forever.
So tonight a tribute, an open letter... a release to the universe- of thanks to one such person.
Mr Elliott, i don't even know what it is you did, or when it is you did it... i suspect it was nothing, but who you were in general. A peaceful presence. Someone who was always just at ease with everything and everyone. Who embodied what i think Eckhart speaks about, present and presence in one...( i'm not even sure i get the lessons right because they're always broken by kids and other happenings...) but i think there's that general idea.
The stillness he (Eckhart) talks about was there, in you- so sure, it kinda radiated. I marveled at this often, and admired the way you had faith, but never sold it. Instead you respected knowledge.
I remember in religion you asked me what i believed in and i shrugged and said 'my family is Buddhist.' You smiled that little smile and nodded and we talked a little about what I believed and you introduced me to the word 'Agnostic'. The next lesson, you bought in a book of Childrens bible stories, and a book about Buddhism.
To tell you the truth i don't think i read much of either! Back then, i seemed to think i was a lot deeper than i Actually was... and pretended to be more full of thoughtful angst than i probably was. Haha... but what i got from that, was the utmost respect for you and your way of teaching.
I've always loved the lessons taught by those who really believe them, whether or not i believed in your god, was irrelevant - it was a real testimony to Catholicism to have someone intelligent and astute be part of its - uhh posse.... hehe!
i always enjoyed our interactions and sometimes i was afraid you thought more of me than i really was, there was that little part that always thought- he see's right through it, he knows you're a phony!! haha... all good though, because it made me Want to be what you saw in me and question who i was at the time, who i was pretending to be.
I read somewhere that one positive interaction with an adult who believed in them at the right moment, could define the direction of a childs life... when i think back on school, you are one of the best memories i have of learning. Learning not about Catholicism so much, but about people, about slowing down, finding out, being honest, being interested... about seeing more, and wanting to know more- mostly, about respect and curiousity for all journeys.
I'm sure in your career, you have influenced many lives and you probably still do.
Thank you for the many random conversations, for always being interested and interesting- you walk gently, speak genuinely and always kinda knew where to stand, to get the best view of life. To this day, more than 13 years later, you are still one of the shining examples of some one i'd love to grow up to be (something) like.
I hope life has given you all that you deserve, well i know it has, because you kinda draw it to you.. but i hope it has been more extraordinary than you ever expected.
The year we graduated, the leadership team chose your song to be 'What if God was one of us...' haha, indeed- it wouldn't surprise me.
Thank you for the gifts of patience, of faith, love and humour. I'm glad we crossed paths and i hope you know what a truely remarkable teacher you were, because first and foremost you were an exemplary human being.
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I was supposed to write tonight about trips and ideas, but something in the video reminded me of Religion (class) and the lifetime ago in the halls of Mary Mackillop, where i was half there and half elsewhere- and i wrote always these cheesy things and handed it in to probably the smartest teacher i ever had, and i was always a little bit embarrassed by the transparency of my ignorance beneath the pretty words... but hey, that was then, now i'm openly ignorant, hahaha... because not knowing these days means another opportunity to learn. Better late than never. Hehe
Anyway I'm making an effort this year, to do things as i think of them, when i remember or think of that idea or that person and not add them to a long list of -i'll get to that after this... of pushing past the voices that tell me, i'm not writing, thinking, Being enough right now. Of silencing them by showing, rather than hoping.
Today i was also inspired by this http://www.gregariouspeach.com/ to really - refocus on the project i started and give it a little more direction. So hang on to your petticoats, and we'll try and get some real happenings a-happening again. The energy of this project's fizzled somewhat and i would apologise, but i need to stop apologising and concentrate on changing whats not working.
Hehe these are the kids today :
Che's favourite part was watching The Ant Bully, thanks to which he's learnt the term 'DOGPILE!' and to run screaming COCKTEEEEEIIIIL! while pointing a light saber at my face. Haha... he's learning also that mum sometimes likes to tells stories.
I don't want to go toilet at night mum!
'whys that?'
There's spider webs on the ceiling!
'Oh yeah, there are, i forgot to tell you, spider man left them for you'
Huh?
'yeah Spiderman came over and he was like Yo where's Che? and i said Che is asleep. And he said Oh right... cool tell him i'm leaving this for him. Then he made some spider webs and left it up there for you.
Che looking fascinated, then thinking about it
'Are you lying mum?'
Hahaha shhh when did you become so cynical.
Tivi's favourite part was getting to sleep in my bed. Haha we took her back to hers when she fell asleep because there is no room in our bed for a 5 year old. My favourite Tivi part was when she woke up in the morning came out to me and said sleepily 'Mummm..? I love you.' and sat down on my lap.
Hehe because Jacies been sick we've been indoors much of the time, this is the kids patch of sunshine and grass in the living room.
Jacies favourite part was eating dinner, "eating noodles, and eating chicken and eat soup!" he informed his dad. It's such a relief to see him eating after 3 days of vomiting and diarrhea. Welcome back lil dude. Hehe before i forget, the other morning when we were laying in bed, Jacie pointed at some scabs on his arm (he has eczema and scratches sometimes a little too roughly) this was our conversation:
whats that? i ask
'Ouchie!'
aww, what happened?
'Dinosaur bite me!'
What? really?
'Yes!'
Oh dear, that's not nice! what did you do?
'I kill it!'
wow! really?
'yes, it just baby dinosaur.'
Oh! okay then.
*nods*
Hehehe see Che, the Dinosaur that Spiderman rides WAS here!! hehehehe
Hehe and on the 2nd of January 2012 This is They:
5yrs and the prettiest thing in the world, Almost 4 and increasingly cheeky, and the not so little anymore, littlest one - my dinosaur slayer.
:)
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